Pitch Critique
I sent my pitch for "Mirror Man" in to Bookends, LLC for a critique, a few weeks ago.
The response was not only very complimentary and encouraging - particularly as I'm now first-drafting the final chapter - but it gave me some invaluable pointers on how to polish it further and increase my chances of catching a prospective agent's attention.
The Pitch:
Valentine is a Child of Loki and one of the original Berserker tribesmen of Norse Folklore. With unobstructed access to the minds of his chosen victims and the ability to assume their precise physical characteristics, he takes what he wants, when and from where he pleases. He is the ultimate identity thief, unconstrained by the password-encrypted barriers his human counterparts face. Only a conscience and the inherent loneliness his immortality brings, stand between him and the decadent life of leisure lead by his brothers and sisters.
The Critique:
I love this! I really think this sounds cool. My only suggestion is not to let it dwindle out. Give us the conflict in the last sentence. What is this book about and what does Valentine face? I hope the book isn’t entirely an internal battle for Valentine on whether to use his powers or not. That would be boring. No, I want to know what he’s going to be up against in this book. If you can nail that last line you have an absolute winner here.
I'll get to work in that final sentence of the pitch soon, hopefully incorporating more specifics on the conflict.
Many thanks, Jessica!
6 comments:
that's cool. i wish i had the courage to send mine in for a critique.
michele sent me.
That was great!
Wanting to publish,I found out few want to critque poetry! Not many readers for poetry.
rooted
reading room
I forgot, I got here from Michele!
That's good news. Well done! It's great to get any feed back but constructive criticism is priceless.
My writing goes with much more of a swing since I got regular readers. Bless them all! What would we do without them?
That's good news. Well done! It's great to get any feed back but constructive criticism is priceless.
My writing goes with much more of a swing since I got regular readers. Bless them all! What would we do without them?
Michele sends her best.
Good writers always know when to seek constructive advice. Good on you for doing so - and for sharing it here. Most writers wouldn't do either!
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